"I need a cell phone because I'm in fifth grade and all fifth graders need a cell phone." -Talar, 5th grade
"Do you like to party a lot?" -Michael, 11th grade
Conversation with Tom, 7th grade:
"Are you married?"
-No
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
-No
"Why not? Don't you want to get married?"
"Do you have Facebook? Will you be my friend on Facebook? My name is Dylan Slicer." -Dylan, 10th grade
"ALEX HAS A CRUSH ON THE TEACHER!" -shouted across a classroom by a 7th grade girl in reference to a little boy that hung out at my desk all day playing "20 Questions" about my life
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
WTF?!
Today, a student in my class walked up to me during the passing period and said, "Miss Kelsey, I crushed up an Altoid and snorted it during my last class." FML.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Guilty eyes
School age children are so hard to predict... yet so easy to catch red-handed.
In all the schools I've subbed, the kids have the exact same tendencies.
The truth goes like this:
Kids who are working hard and are doing what they're supposed to be doing remain intensely focused and are not easily distracted. Their heads stay down, and they pay no attention to what others are up to.
Kids who are making trouble - be it throwing paper airplanes or simply chatting too much during a movie - have the tendency to check on the teacher to ensure they aren't being watched. They glance casually in my direction while making a grand attempt to look nonchalant and smooth. This is what I like to call the "guilty eyes."
I am a very lax sub. I don't really care what people do, so long as they maintain the peace. This is why I find it so fundamentally hysterical that students will get themselves caught by simply making eye contact with me. Often times when our eyes meet, I'll say, "What are you looking at?" or "What are you up to over there, guilty eyes?"
Every day I am shocked, astounded and, frankly, totally impressed by the creativity and wit of the kids I interact with. They are hilarious, but I have to restrain my laughter. They are smart and sneaky, but I can't show the slightest bit of envy. While I never know what prank these kids are cooking up next, it's always those same "guilty eyes" that get get their names written down for tomorrow's discipline.
In all the schools I've subbed, the kids have the exact same tendencies.
The truth goes like this:
Kids who are working hard and are doing what they're supposed to be doing remain intensely focused and are not easily distracted. Their heads stay down, and they pay no attention to what others are up to.
Kids who are making trouble - be it throwing paper airplanes or simply chatting too much during a movie - have the tendency to check on the teacher to ensure they aren't being watched. They glance casually in my direction while making a grand attempt to look nonchalant and smooth. This is what I like to call the "guilty eyes."
I am a very lax sub. I don't really care what people do, so long as they maintain the peace. This is why I find it so fundamentally hysterical that students will get themselves caught by simply making eye contact with me. Often times when our eyes meet, I'll say, "What are you looking at?" or "What are you up to over there, guilty eyes?"
Every day I am shocked, astounded and, frankly, totally impressed by the creativity and wit of the kids I interact with. They are hilarious, but I have to restrain my laughter. They are smart and sneaky, but I can't show the slightest bit of envy. While I never know what prank these kids are cooking up next, it's always those same "guilty eyes" that get get their names written down for tomorrow's discipline.
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